Thursday, August 30, 2012

Feeling so BLESSED.

There aren't any words right now to express how blessed our little family feels.

At our 17 week ultrasound, there were a couple things our Little S was in a bad position for the techs to see like a couple views of her heart, gender, and her sweet top lip to rule out cleft lip and heart defects.  So, they scheduled us to come back at 28 weeks, four weeks ago.

I went to that ultrasound alone, not really worried about the things they needed to rule out and saw her beautiful heartbeat, found out that she was, in fact, still a girl, and saw her sweet top lip.  I went home on cloud nine:)

Then the next day, I missed a call from my Dr.'s office, called them back and expected to hear from the wonderful nurses that everything looked great.  My heart sank when a nurse answered and said "Dr. Hall will be just a minute, can you hold?"  I squeaked out a "yes" and couldn't help but start to panic.  I didn't know what he would say, but I knew that if everything had looked good, I wouldn't need to talk to him.  When he came on the line he explained that our little girl looked great and measured right on track, but that my amniotic fluid levels were on the low end.  Low meaning 0.3 cm away from bedrest...He told me to take it easy, relax, everything would probably be just fine, drink lots of water and he would get us in for another ultrasound after my next appointment.  Not exactly what this hormonal Momma needed to hear...

I called my Mom after I got off the phone. She has had her share of phone calls with that very same Dr. and knows what that feels like. She assured me that everything would be okay, that Little S would be just fine and suggested that Josh and my Dad give me a blessing.

We went over that night and I have never felt such overwhelming comfort wash over me as I did after my Dad and Josh laid their hands on my head.  I knew that things were going to be okay, that no matter what, our little girl was going to be okay.  What a blessing it is to have the priesthood in our lives.

So the last four weeks, I have been making an extra effort to hydrate myself and take things slow.  There have been a few nights that I would just cry like a crazy woman to my sweet husband that life was hard enough as is and as a mother, I should be able to provide a healthy body for our little girl so she wouldn't have to struggle the first days and weeks of life.  I felt my first dose of "Momma guilt."  I was worried that with low fluid levels, her lungs wouldn't develop properly, or she wouldn't be strong and healthy at birth.  I felt like I was already failing at motherhood.  Sounds silly doesn't it?  But I was so hormonal yes, but so so worried.

Then, Tuesday arrived and once again, I felt that calm comforting feeling come over me.

I got the nicest ultrasound tech, the same one that did our first ultrasound at 11 weeks and our last ultrasound at 28.  She was so sweet and helpful the whole time, explaining things, calming my nerves and telling me that from what she could tell, my fluid levels were higher, YAY!

Little S was doing lots and lots of tricks for us.  Putting her whole hand in her mouth, sticking out her tongue, taking practice breaths so we could see her little lungs filling up and then "breathing out."  The tech said that was a really good sign to see those breaths, and my Momma guilt turned into Momma pride:)  I was so proud of our little girl for taking those breaths and showing me that she was, in fact, going to be okay!

She now weighs a whopping 4lbs. 1oz., is FINALLY head down (let's keep it that way!) and measures exactly on with her due date!

My wonderful Dr. called Tuesday night to tell me that everything looked good, my fluid levels were up and in the safe zone.

What. A. Blessing.

This means we still have options as to where we will deliver our sweet little girl.  The hospital I would love to deliver at doesn't have a NICU, so as long as we go to term (5 1/2 weeks away!), and my fluid levels stay up, we still feel comfortable delivering there!  Another blessing.  This also means that we have a higher chance of taking our baby girl home with us when we leave the hospital, and in turn, no NICU stays.  Another blessing.

So the plan now is to keep myself good and hydrated and let our sweet Little S cook as long as she can.  Josh and I feel so blessed and thankful that our little girl is doing well and that she is healthy.  I know throughout life she will struggle, struggling is good.  I also know that those struggling moments in her life are what will make her a strong woman someday.  If I can give her a strong and healthy body so she doesn't have to struggle to survive after birth, then I would like to think I am already doing okay as a Momma.  I couldn't ask for more.

Our hearts are so full of gratitude that Tuesday's ultrasound went well and we are still in awe that we have been chosen to raise our sweet little girl.  She is truly a miracle and a blessing in our lives!  The time is flying, and before we know it, she will be here!

Now for some pictures:

Her sweet profile:)

In this next one, we saw her moving around and the tech said: "oh my gosh, OH MY GOSH!"
I asked what she was doing and she rewound the video and explained that she is putting her whole hand in her mouth!  Gah!  I asked if that was normal (because that was my first reaction...) and she said "well, I guess it's not going to hurt anything, but I haven't seen a baby do that I don't think!"  Way to go Little S!  Show us your tricks;)  She then proceeded to do it 4 more times for us!

And my "paint" version of what she was make it comprehensive :)

And her sweet profile in 3D

Those lips need some kissin' ;)
And my very favorite:

Her hand is up by her face, and her big chubby cheeks are squishing her eyes closed:)  
Josh and I are biased, but we think that our little girl is the absolute cutest there is!
We love her so much!

When we were getting the 3D pictures, the tech said "Good grief, you are going to have one cute baby!  I don't say that to just anybody!"  My Momma pride swelled all over again:)

It is still incredible to me how much you can love someone you haven't even met, but as the weeks go on, Josh and I fall in love with her even more!
 So today, we feel so blessed, blessed to see her lungs working, blessed to see her chubby cheeks and big lips we can't wait to kiss. Blessed to know that she is gaining lots of weight, blessed to know my fluids are up. Blessed to know she is doing well, blessed to know she is healthy.  Blessed beyond belief to have her!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

31 AND 32 Weeks!

How far along?: 32 Weeks!
Weight gain/loss: Up 19lbs. total as of Monday...feels more like 91!
Symptoms: Heartburn in full force in the mornings, achy back, tired all the time...
Maternity clothes?:  I am proud to say that even though there is absolutely NO hope of doing them up, I am still in my pre-pregnancy pants!  Ha...let's see how much longer that lasts!  Still just wearing a few maternity tops and trying to get creative with my wardrobe!
How is the sleep?:  After a few restless nights, Josh and I decided we needed to invest in some better pillows and now, the sleep is better than ever!  Still loving the body pillow!  It is a lifesaver!
Best moment this week?: Our ultrasound yesterday!  More on that tomorrow...
Told family and friends?:  Yes
Miss anything?: Ok, I could put about a dozen things right here, but they all have no comparison of how excited we are to meet our Little S!  In 9 weeks (or hopefully less) I am SO going to miss being pregnant.  What a miracle!
Movement?:  She is a mover and a shaker, kicking my right hip bone as we speak;)
Cravings?: Tacos...and a milkshake for the heartburn...
Anything make you queasy or sick?:  Still just nasty (or strange) smells
Have you started to show yet?:  Yes
Gender:  Sweet baby GIRL!
Any labor signs?: Nothing more than some Braxton Hicks thank heaven!
Belly button in or out?: Out, the poor thing...
Any "pregnancy" moments?:  "Ohhing" and "ahhing" at the ultrasound yesterday, when the tech said "Good GRIEF! You are going to have a cute baby, and I don't say that to just anybody!" I felt like the proudest momma there is!  Can't wait to meet our little girl!
Looking forward to: Maternity pictures, our last trip as a family of two this weekend!


How far along?: 31 Weeks!
Weight gain/loss: Up 14 lbs. 3 weeks ago
Symptoms: Lovely heartburn, rib/back/tailbone pain...Does feeling like a hippo count?
Maternity clothes?:  Just a few tops...I am starting to really appreciate my looser-fitting tops...
How is the sleep?: Pretty good!  Can't complain!
Best moment this week?:  Feeling lots of movement, my birthday, hearing her sweet heartbeat:)
Told family and friends?:  Yes
Miss anything?: The comfort of having my own body to myself...but she is so worth it!
Movement?:  Lots and lots!  Still hiccups 3ish times a day!
Cravings?: Tacos...I think that may be the winner this pregnancy...
Anything make you queasy or sick?:  Starting to get more sensitive to smells...I need to stock up on air freshener to keep under the counter at work!
Have you started to show yet?:  Yes
Gender:  Sweet baby GIRL!
Any labor signs?: Nothing too exciting, just Braxton Hicks...
Belly button in or out?: Out, out, out!
Any "pregnancy" moments?:  Huffing and puffing going up the stairs the other night and realizing that it might be better for my health to start sleeping on the mail level of our home;) Not really, but those stairs are a killer...
Looking forward to:  Our ultrasound next week and cooler weather!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Pregnancy Thoughts

Pregnancy is not for sissies.
It is hard, and stressful, and sometimes just plain exhausting.
You don't feel like yourself, you don't look like yourself, and sometimes, you definitely don't act like yourself.
There are days that are harder than others and stress levels rise as patience drops.
There are nights where sleep is uncomfortable and hard to come by.
There are moments when you cry for no reason, or just sit and daydream about what your little bundle will look or act like.

Pregnancy is emotionally so, so hard.  From the moment we found out about our Little S, our minds and hearts have constantly been filled with worry.  I never knew how much my parents worried about me, but I never expected to worry this much.  It gets tiring and makes the days drag on.  It makes the lump in your throat form when you see your doctor's number on the caller ID.  Pregnancy makes you hormonal and emotional...a double edged sword...husbands know.

Pregnancy brings fear, fear for your baby, fear that you will never get your pre-baby body back, fear that you won't be good enough or that you will fail as a parent.

Pregnancy is a time to forget yourself, your pant size, your comfort, and realize that you are doing something much greater for someone that you never thought you could love so much.  It is a time to remember how blessed we are.

Pregnancy is a time above all else, to be thankful.

Thankful for the kicks that keep you up at night or the pounds that congregate.
Thankful for the ability your body has to create something so wonderful.
Thankful for the backaches that mean your little one is growing.
Thankful for your husband who shows you just how much he loves not only you, but your sweet little angel.
Thankful for technology and wonderful Doctors that take such good care of us.
Thankful for the ability to create life.
Thankful for the tiny diapers and socks.
Thankful for the sweet blessing inside you.

As I move into the "uncomfortable stage," I know it is going to get harder and harder to appreciate the little things about pregnancy like the kicks and hiccups, but I have promised myself (and made Josh promise me too) that I won't let myself lose sight of this beautiful gift of being pregnant.  I know I will miss it.  That makes me so sad because I still feel like we are staring at that second pink line that cold, February night.  The time flew.  And it is still flying.  And I know without a doubt in my mind, that even though I cannot wait for our little girl's arrival, I will miss being pregnant.

So, for the last 9 weeks this go-around, this Momma will be trying her hardest to be thankful for all the aches and pains, thankful for our Little S and the miracle that she is in our lives.  We know and realize over and over every day that she is a sweet gift from our Heavenly Father and feel so blessed that He has chosen us to be her parents.

Each day that passes is one more day that she gets to grow and become stronger.  Each day is a blessing, even though each day the aches get achier and the pains get more painful.

Sweet Little S, you are so worth it.

Friday, August 17, 2012

30 Weeks

*Once again, I am way closer to 31 weeks than 30, sorry for the delay!  I'm a slacker...*

How far along?: 30 Weeks!  Baby is Three whole pounds!
Weight gain/loss: Up 14 lbs. as of 2 weeks ago
Symptoms: Heartburn and acid reflux that comes and goes, backache, needing naps all day long...No matter how uncomfortable I get, it is all SO worth it!
Maternity clothes?:  Just some tops and tummy sleeve...
How is the sleep?: Sleep is great!  The leg cramps were better this week!
Best moment this week?: Feeling so prepared for her arrival!  Now for the last 9 weeks, the waiting game begins!
Told family and friends?:  Yes
Miss anything?: Being comfortable in my own skin...literally! We are so thankful for our little miracle though! Can't complain:)
Movement?:  Still hiccups several times a day!  I love it!  And she loves to jump around, especially when daddy talks to her or plays with my tummy...I swear she is already picking parental favorites...and I'm not it!
Cravings?:  Still wild berry bagels...YUM!  Pizza the other night, and chocolate too!
Anything make you queasy or sick?:  Being hungry, poor Josh handles it so well!
Have you started to show yet?:  Yes
Gender:  Sweet baby GIRL!
Any labor signs?:  I noticed that this last week, the Braxton Hicks had a whole new bite to them...let the fun begin!;)
Belly button in or out?: Out...The poor thing!
Any "pregnancy" moments?:  Waking up at midnight and making myself toast, I couldn't go back to sleep until I went into the nursery and just sat in my rocking chair looking at our little girl's room:) 
Looking forward to:  Our next ultrasound in a week and a half, Maternity pictures, Little S's arrival!!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

29 Weeks:)

How far along?: 29 Weeks!
Weight gain/loss: Up 14 lbs. as of last week
Symptoms: Heartburn that comes and goes, rib pain, and backache.  She is so worth it though!
Maternity clothes?:  Still just tops and my tummy sleeve...I have started to feel like something's gotta give...preferably not the seams on my clothes, maybe it is time to ditch my jean size? :( We will see...
How is the sleep?:  I get the occasional leg cramp, but lately the thing that really keeps me from sleeping is waking up and feeling her moving around, sometimes it tickles, sometimes it is just nudges, and sometimes she has sweet little hiccups, that is the real kicker because it doesn't stop for 10+ minutes! :)  Try sleeping after that! 
Best moment this week?: Watching the Olympics with my frozen bag of peas:)  Little S was doing the uneven bars in my tummy to support the U.S. :)
Told family and friends?:  Yes
Miss anything?: My abs still, and I think I will add breathing normally...Okay, I guess doing most things normally, putting on my shoes, getting out of bed, fitting into clothes...
Movement?:  She gets hiccups at least 3-4 times a day and I LOVE IT!  They are the sweetest!  Along with hiccups, she likes to wedge herself right in my pelvis, her shoulders on one hip and her feet on the other, they she straightens out and makes me feel like I am going to break in half.  Okay, I'm not sure that is exactly what she is doing, but that's what it feels like:)  My ribs, pelvis, and her have a love/hate relationship...
Cravings?:  Fruit, wild berry bagels (For one, that is soo not me, I have a deep-rooted belief that fruit and bagels should not touch, weather the fruit is in the cream cheese or the bagel itself, no bueno. Little S on the other hand does not agree...) and french dip sandwiches, I nearly started drinking the juices out of the crock pot before it was even done!  Here I am drooling just thinking about the leftovers for tonight...
Anything make you queasy or sick?:  The heat...
Have you started to show yet?:  Yes
Gender:  Sweet baby GIRL!
Any labor signs?:  Still nothing serious, just some good 'ole Braxton Hicks
Belly button in or out?: Out
Any "pregnancy" moments?:  Emotions are a whole new ballgame right now...poor Josh takes the brunt of it, but even though I seem to cry over everything, he just does anything to make me happy again:)  Thanks sweetie:)
Looking forward to:  Oh goodness, I found THE most precious hats for the hospital/this winter!  They are being shipped as we speak and I can't wait for them to get here!  Also, my birthday, Maternity pictures in the upcoming weeks, our next ultrasound in 3 weeks, and last but not least: MEETING OUR LITTLE S!