Thursday, August 30, 2012

Feeling so BLESSED.

There aren't any words right now to express how blessed our little family feels.

At our 17 week ultrasound, there were a couple things our Little S was in a bad position for the techs to see like a couple views of her heart, gender, and her sweet top lip to rule out cleft lip and heart defects.  So, they scheduled us to come back at 28 weeks, four weeks ago.

I went to that ultrasound alone, not really worried about the things they needed to rule out and saw her beautiful heartbeat, found out that she was, in fact, still a girl, and saw her sweet top lip.  I went home on cloud nine:)

Then the next day, I missed a call from my Dr.'s office, called them back and expected to hear from the wonderful nurses that everything looked great.  My heart sank when a nurse answered and said "Dr. Hall will be just a minute, can you hold?"  I squeaked out a "yes" and couldn't help but start to panic.  I didn't know what he would say, but I knew that if everything had looked good, I wouldn't need to talk to him.  When he came on the line he explained that our little girl looked great and measured right on track, but that my amniotic fluid levels were on the low end.  Low meaning 0.3 cm away from bedrest...He told me to take it easy, relax, everything would probably be just fine, drink lots of water and he would get us in for another ultrasound after my next appointment.  Not exactly what this hormonal Momma needed to hear...

I called my Mom after I got off the phone. She has had her share of phone calls with that very same Dr. and knows what that feels like. She assured me that everything would be okay, that Little S would be just fine and suggested that Josh and my Dad give me a blessing.

We went over that night and I have never felt such overwhelming comfort wash over me as I did after my Dad and Josh laid their hands on my head.  I knew that things were going to be okay, that no matter what, our little girl was going to be okay.  What a blessing it is to have the priesthood in our lives.

So the last four weeks, I have been making an extra effort to hydrate myself and take things slow.  There have been a few nights that I would just cry like a crazy woman to my sweet husband that life was hard enough as is and as a mother, I should be able to provide a healthy body for our little girl so she wouldn't have to struggle the first days and weeks of life.  I felt my first dose of "Momma guilt."  I was worried that with low fluid levels, her lungs wouldn't develop properly, or she wouldn't be strong and healthy at birth.  I felt like I was already failing at motherhood.  Sounds silly doesn't it?  But I was so hormonal yes, but so so worried.

Then, Tuesday arrived and once again, I felt that calm comforting feeling come over me.

I got the nicest ultrasound tech, the same one that did our first ultrasound at 11 weeks and our last ultrasound at 28.  She was so sweet and helpful the whole time, explaining things, calming my nerves and telling me that from what she could tell, my fluid levels were higher, YAY!

Little S was doing lots and lots of tricks for us.  Putting her whole hand in her mouth, sticking out her tongue, taking practice breaths so we could see her little lungs filling up and then "breathing out."  The tech said that was a really good sign to see those breaths, and my Momma guilt turned into Momma pride:)  I was so proud of our little girl for taking those breaths and showing me that she was, in fact, going to be okay!

She now weighs a whopping 4lbs. 1oz., is FINALLY head down (let's keep it that way!) and measures exactly on with her due date!

My wonderful Dr. called Tuesday night to tell me that everything looked good, my fluid levels were up and in the safe zone.

What. A. Blessing.

This means we still have options as to where we will deliver our sweet little girl.  The hospital I would love to deliver at doesn't have a NICU, so as long as we go to term (5 1/2 weeks away!), and my fluid levels stay up, we still feel comfortable delivering there!  Another blessing.  This also means that we have a higher chance of taking our baby girl home with us when we leave the hospital, and in turn, no NICU stays.  Another blessing.

So the plan now is to keep myself good and hydrated and let our sweet Little S cook as long as she can.  Josh and I feel so blessed and thankful that our little girl is doing well and that she is healthy.  I know throughout life she will struggle, struggling is good.  I also know that those struggling moments in her life are what will make her a strong woman someday.  If I can give her a strong and healthy body so she doesn't have to struggle to survive after birth, then I would like to think I am already doing okay as a Momma.  I couldn't ask for more.

Our hearts are so full of gratitude that Tuesday's ultrasound went well and we are still in awe that we have been chosen to raise our sweet little girl.  She is truly a miracle and a blessing in our lives!  The time is flying, and before we know it, she will be here!

Now for some pictures:

Her sweet profile:)

In this next one, we saw her moving around and the tech said: "oh my gosh, OH MY GOSH!"
I asked what she was doing and she rewound the video and explained that she is putting her whole hand in her mouth!  Gah!  I asked if that was normal (because that was my first reaction...) and she said "well, I guess it's not going to hurt anything, but I haven't seen a baby do that I don't think!"  Way to go Little S!  Show us your tricks;)  She then proceeded to do it 4 more times for us!

And my "paint" version of what she was make it comprehensive :)

And her sweet profile in 3D

Those lips need some kissin' ;)
And my very favorite:

Her hand is up by her face, and her big chubby cheeks are squishing her eyes closed:)  
Josh and I are biased, but we think that our little girl is the absolute cutest there is!
We love her so much!

When we were getting the 3D pictures, the tech said "Good grief, you are going to have one cute baby!  I don't say that to just anybody!"  My Momma pride swelled all over again:)

It is still incredible to me how much you can love someone you haven't even met, but as the weeks go on, Josh and I fall in love with her even more!
 So today, we feel so blessed, blessed to see her lungs working, blessed to see her chubby cheeks and big lips we can't wait to kiss. Blessed to know that she is gaining lots of weight, blessed to know my fluids are up. Blessed to know she is doing well, blessed to know she is healthy.  Blessed beyond belief to have her!

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